I was always an involved parent – PTA, soccer mom, band mom – so I write this article from the viewpoint of my own struggle of balance.  The old adage “do what I say, not what I did,” is pretty appropriate.  Parents put on your dancing shoes and get ready to “cha-cha” along this journey as your child prepares and submits college applications.

One of the most important ways you can support your children through the process is to know what they need to know – both the big picture and the details.  Encourage your child to meet with his/her school counselor upon returning to school for senior year; the counselor plays an important role in completing and submitting information to colleges on the student’s behalf.

Help your child get organized, as the application process involves managing lots of information, requirements and deadlines for each of the institutions to which applications are submitted. Offer suggestions on good practices for organizing and labeling to alleviate frustration at not being able to locate important documents when needed.

Remember that the college application process is indeed a family affair, however, one driven and owned by the student! Make sure your child feels he/she has the “starring role” and be mindful not to make the process about you.  Be realistic, but supportive, about your child’s college choices – this will help to alleviate stress.  Identify restrictions (financial or geographic, for example) early in the process, which will keep your child from potentially becoming attached to a school that cannot even be considered.  This is a great time to hone your listening skills – let your child talk about his/her strengths or unique talents, or why certain schools are on their college list. Ask meaningful questions and let your child provide the answers; reflect back to them what you hear them saying.

The college admission process can be stressful and strained relations between parents and their children can occur.  This is common and often painful, but you will get through this process together.  Offer your college-bound child plenty of encouragement, a listening ear and gentle guidance.  When you see stress building – especially around critical application deadlines, test dates or school exams – ask what you can do to help. While the offer may be met with immediate resistance, your child will appreciate the offer of help in the long run. Let your child know – by words and actions – that you are in their corner and have faith in their ability to navigate the process and make a sound decision about their college choice.  Most importantly, remind your children that you are their biggest cheerleader and most loyal fan!  Good luck!

Antoinette Battiste is an Independent Educational Consultant and resident of Evergreen.   She is the founder of Educational Pathways with Antoinette Battiste, a consulting practice that provides college planning and counseling services to high school students and their parents. We focus on the individual needs and talents of students and guide them to find the best match for a great college experience.  For more information about upcoming workshops, available services and additional college planning resources, go to www.antoinettebattiste.com, email adviser@antoinettebattiste.com or call (408) 270-1930